Many families today want a service which celebrates the life of their loved one. We introduce them to the concept of a memorial service, and provide support in designing a memorial service that is as unique as the life of their loved one.
We always enjoy working together with families in planning a memorial service for their loved one. While it can be a challenge to put together an event that both pays tribute to and celebrates the life and spirit of, a complex individual; it's also one of the most rewarding things any one of us can do for someone we've loved and lost.
Sarah York, opens her beautifully-crafted book, Remembering Well, with the very personal story about how her family chose to pay tribute to her mother. "My mother died in April 1983. . . she didn't want a funeral. 'Get together and have a party,' she had said when the topic was allowed to come up." However, she was quick to tell readers that the survivors did not honor the request. "We needed the ritual. We needed to say good-bye, but we also needed a ritual that would honor her spirit and would be faithful to her values and beliefs."
When Ms. York acknowledge the position of her family; that they needed not a party but a ritual; she teaches us all something important: the memorial service events we plan with families should be shaped as much by their own emotional and spiritual needs, as their desire to celebrate the life lived.
While memorial services are not burdened by social expectations—they can be pretty much anything you want them to be—it's important to realize that the event you're planning should meet the emotional needs of the guests. So, think about exactly who will be there, and what they're likely to want or need. Then, bring in those unique lifestyle and personality characteristics of the deceased; perhaps add live music or refreshments, and you've got the beginnings of a remarkable memorial service.
Memorial services are intended to lift everyone's spirits by focusing on positive memories.There you'll discover how our experience in arranging and hosting memorial services will guide you in the process.
It's really a process of asking–and answering–questions. Sit down with other family members, at least once, but maybe even more than once; to explore the memorial service planning checklist & ideas which arise from answering these questions:
1. Who will be invited?
2. Where, and when, should the event take place?
3. Who will orchestrate or conduct the event?
4. Who wishes to speak at the event?
5. What group activities would be appropriate?
6. What food or beverages should be served?
7. What readings and music should you include?
8. What details of your loved one's life do you want to share with guests?
9. What decorations will you have? |
We know that's a lot to think about. But we urge you to take your time; be thoughtful, and don't hesitate to explore all the memorial service ideas which arise as part of this experience.
As we've said, we've got the experience which could make planning a memorial service easier for you and your family. Don't hesitate to pick up the phone; call us at 914-949-7777. Let's talk about your loved one's life; share some stories with us. We're confident that, together, we can come up with the perfect memorial service event to suit your needs and expectations.
Sources:
Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life & Mourning Death, Sara York